Now, we all know that some of us have a bigger invisible, ’no touchy’ parameter than others. Now me, I am one of those people that definitely has a personal space bubble. It can be anywhere from 5 feet in circumference and can shrink or expand given the situation. Close talkers, strangers who feel the need to touch you, and people that hover are all clearly in violation of the personal space bubble. I’m not weird, I just don’t like when someone I don’t know decides to start a conversation with me with less than an inch of space. Um hello, how am I to know if I have offending breath? And maintaining eye contact at such close distance is incredibly awkward, I feel trapped like I can’t escape. It’s not as if I don’t like to have people touch me (clearly, I read erotica and am obsessed with man love…trust me, I like to be touched). But I am like a primal animal, you come into my territory uninvited and this kitty has claws.
Take the gym for instance. The gym can be both a beautiful and disgustingly germy place. The beautiful part is of course, the view of hunky men standing over one another as they bench press or lift weights (always get a cardio machine next to the weights, trust me). The not so bueno part is the stinky person sans deodorant going for a 7 mile jog… in a sweatshirt… on the treadmill right next to you. I won’t even go into the sudden SBD syndrome [Smokinhotpedia: SBD: Silent But Deadly methane bomb that sneaks up and makes you loose your treadmill pacing.] Mouth breathing is the only way to get through your workout people, and always spray down your machine BEFORE you use it.
What I don’t understand are the people that can be so oblivious to being in one’s space bubble. Since I have bravely ventured over to the testosterone-only weight section to pump some iron, I have earned my right to pump in peace. I have clearly marked my territory. I have my towel, keys and cardio worksheet laid out before me (clearly marking out my five foot parameter, it’s even shrunk to a modest three feet). As I am pumping my eight pounders in each fist and just finished a rep of crunches on the ball when in walks a woman who proceeds to place her a** in my face as she does stretches less than a foot away from me. Yes, a** in my face. First of all, it’s totally awkward when there is clearly enough space for 15 other people to be in this area and not even touch each other. Secondly, MacGuiver called and he wants his haircut back. And thirdly, how ‘effing weird that you are doing stretches on a bar that place your a** in my face? At this point, my inner animal takes over. No way am I going to move, I was here first. Whoever tells you that dibs is not alive and well, has never been to 24 hour fitness.
I am distracted, I can’t seem to look anywhere else than at this flat posterior that is consuming my entire workout. So I try to calmly move my things over to the side and give her another couple of feet. No, it’s ok weird person, I’ll move. So I start on my ball crunches and am just placing the ball off to the side when in swoops in Ms. Bubble Violator and proceeds to steal my exercise ball and do her exercises right in front of me! Now I am p-i-s-s-e-d. First the violation of space, then the violation of my retinas and now, you steal my exercise ball! Oh. No. You. Didn’t. I’ll admit, something bad came over me. I let the beast inside come out. So I did what any cornered animal would do. I aggressively invaded her bubble. I’m not proud of my behavior or the things I did. Because doing tantric Yoga exercises outside of the classroom is definitely a no, no. So there I was lifting my a** into her face, groaning out between my downward and upward facing dogs. I even over-eroticized child pose (I apologize to Sara my Yogi, I abused the craft, please forgive me) not one of my finer moments. And after lifting my legs and squeezing my gluts, what do I find? The violator is doing her own Yoga moves.
I was beat at my own game. The only thing I could do was gather my possessions, and hold my head high. The personal space violators had won again.
What’s your personal space bubble issues?
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I actually had an experience this week in the train. I was reading on my e-reader and in the middle of Max and Sophia going all hot and heavy in Bonds Of Justice. I was kind of oblivion to my surroundings as you can imagine when to women came sitting in my booth, one in front of me the other next to me. I do not have a small a$$ but the person next to me squished me to the window. I looked annoyed while she kept talking to her lady friend. I went back to Max & Sophia, trying to ignore their chatter. Then the woman in front of me starts eating chips from a can in such a way that made me want to mmoooooo her. I could see those chips get grinded between her teeth, see it get moved around her taste buds for full flavor experience and gawd…it was so nasty. This was happening like 50 cm away from me *gag* So okay, I quickly went back to reading again when 5 minutes later their conversation dies down and the one sitting next to me is starting to glance at my e-reader and I’ve got no actual proof if she was reading with me but she glanced for a minute or 2-3 so I’m guessing yes. That’s when I gave her my 007 look….really, if looks could be lethal she would be 6ft under. I just can’t stand a person squishing me to a more confined space as is but then starts glancing at what i’m reading…*get’s my mental bull whip out* and whooossshhh; stay out of my personal space!!!
Rule #1 when in Leontine’s personal space: eating habits should not include cow like chewing.
Rule #2: Be polite, allow other person next to you some breathing room and as much privacy as you can give them. If interested in book you can ASK!! Not read over shoulder.
Rule #1 when in Leontine’s personal space: eating habbits should not include cow like chewing.
Rule #2: Be polite, allow other person next to you some breathing room and as much privacy as you can give them. If interested in book you can ASK!! Not read over shoulder.
PS: Of course my comment goes awire this early in the AM :S I had to spellcheck myself but forgot to delete last part of comment to refresh it with spell checked comment *sigh*
I so know what you mean. I’m the queen of the “death glare” here in Magdeburg so tram users be warned don’t come near me or I will chop you head off.
I so hate even thinking of strange ppl touching me in any way. *ick* I have an OCD here.
And yes I hate this coming way too close and try to keep the eye-contact.
Okay perhaps I have a serious ppl and socializing problem. LOL
LMAO!!! “Whoever tells you that dibs is not alive and well, has never been to 24 hour fitness.”
that is sooo true!
My personal space bubble issue has to do with my work restroom! My restroom at work is very large and has like 20 stalls. I head there for a little relief and I’m all alone. Peaceful. Then some asshole cones in and take the one RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Why?? Why do people take the stall right next to the only closed one?? Also, if you see someone you know in the restroom amd you both go in to the stalls to do your business it is NOT OKAY to keep talking to me from your stall! Let me concentrate on the work at hand puhlease!
@Leontine Rule #4 is critical for me! I hate when people read over my shoulder, especially Mr. Smokin’
@SusiSunshine LOL “Queen of Death Glare” I like it, I might use it even.
@Pamela (SpazP) Exactly! The same thing in the movie theater! There are tons of open seats and then peeps choose to sit right near you, I’m not even in the middle part of the theater!
I am VERY much a space commander of my personal space. I cannot stand someone to stand over me, read over my shoulder, lean into me*shudder* I think people think I’m an easy target because I’m so tiny.
Not true. I am an evil ninja of doom. Advance at your own peril because I will call you out and embarrass the $hit out of you if you invade my space.
As a shopper I am constantly at the mercy of little old ladies who think I will adhere to tradition and allow them first choice.
I think not.
I will block you with my cart, hack like I have tuberculosis, talk and sing to myself in a loud sing song voice, and poot.
I am not proud but I am left alone.
First off – Tori LMAO at your comment though I’m a little scared
I am a believer of the personal bubble too! I hate it when people invade my personal space but I refuse to back down which ends up making me feel physically uncomfortable – I feel like my body keeps leaning farther and farther away though I try to keep my feet rooted. Though I am an elbow user if people get to close..a little elbow to the kidneys then a teeth baring wolfie smile always warns people away 
@Tori You. Are. Awesome! I’m so passive aggressive it’s not even funny.
@Heather got it. Show teeth, maybe even growl a little and hopefully the violators will back off.
@ Leontine Those who masticate food loudly are one step away from greater primates. There’s a reason we came off all fours, and that means close your mouth and use a fork for godsakes.
@ Pamela- I also think it’s weird when ladies continue talking on their cell phones while doing a ‘big girl potty’. I mean we all know what you are doing, but have you no shame? Where is the mortification that you are having to ‘do your business’ in front of your co-workers, and there you are ,ploppin’ away and yackin’ on the phone. It’s just bizarre.
@ Susisunshine close talkers scare me. It’s like they given up on social boundaries. You know who else has done that…serial killers.
@ Tori Oh my ‘effing God! That is hilarious. My husband and you were made for each other. I always seem to get embarrassed when he starts yelling Mooooooo -ve. And does his death glare. We can’t even go to movies anymore because people dare to eat their popcorn too loudly, 60 rows above us.
@ Heather Violators of the bubble always seem to win. One can only lean back so far. I try to avoid eye contact as this normally cues people that I’m not interested in a four hour conversation about you. But again, social ques seem to be wasted. They don’t care they’ll keep on going. I live in fear of being cornered.
I have issues with close talkers and touchers too. I can be a touchy feely person but I have been known to over react to being touched or stood too close to. The best one in my family with close talking has to be my son. He is 7. Some one leaned down to talk to him about something and for some reason thought they needed to get inches from his face. G looked at him and “I don’t like how close you are standing to me. I can look up and see you, you don’t need to be down here. I am American and studies show we require 10ft of personal space, so please back up.” – FYI Little G watches entirely too much Discovery Heath and PBS.
Oh girl, I so feel you! Not up close tho!!! I have a big personal space. I don’t tolerate space invaders. When I was a kid, I’d slug people who touched me without invitation.
I’m better now…these days I use my mouth to make people move their a**es over! I’ve had people step right on top of me – for crying out loud, I’m not invisible!
Just recently I was standing in the checkout line of a supermarket, in the middle of using my debit card, when this lady pushed right up into me, giving me a big shove with her hip because she was in some kind of smokin’ hurry, I guess. I said – Unless you want to pay for my groceries, move it over bitch! She did.
The first problem I see hear is that you go to a gym.
@Mandi I go to Yoga so I can stare at all the cute surfer guys in my class. Don’t tell Mr. Smokin’
I went to my friend’s Yoga class when I had laid out all my stuff. Literally… MY stuff (my own mat, blanket) and I stepped away for a second. When I turned around a girl had parked her keester on my mat. I went over there and politely said excuse me, but that is mine. She rudely responded that she didn’t know I laid out that stuff (you could borrow mats and stuff). I said, you don’t understand… it’s actually MINE. And then I proceeded to gather my stuff up and relocate. Even if it wasn’t mine… who was she? The Queen? Sheesh… get your own stuff! I guess that’s my gym-ish story.
“And maintaining eye contact at such close distance is incredibly awkward, I feel trapped like I can’t escape.” ROFL! This is so funny! It ignited a spark of recognition.
For some weird reason hubs always attracts people who love to step in his personal space bubble and he’s so very allergic to it, LOL! He’s like K-Khan’s hubby always getting irritated to the point where he has to yell Move! (or in Dutch: ‘Rot op!’ with a rolling ‘r’
). I adore his inner, growling bad boy that escapes in these moments. 
@K.C. I think she was either screwing with you on purpose or had the sapphic hots for you.
Here’s a little something I think will give better insight into the male view on personal space bubble better than I could.
http://tinyurl.com/2585mmc
@Melissa (Books and Things) NO way! First of all how frigging rude, everyone knows you get your own mat. EVERYONE.
@Janna (ErotRomReader) Mr. Smoki’n and Mr. K two peas in the pod. I have been humiliated by both of them in public. Hubs uses his verbal judo (his own saying) to tell people off. He is no longer allowed to go to the mall with me during Christmas time.
@The Mighty Buzzard maybe my sweat slicked hair really turned her on, eh…
LMAO thanks this explains so much about men – I just clicked on this link while at work *headdesk*
I hate, hate, HATE people who stand really close behind you when you are queuing up in a line somewhere. It drives me absolute bat shit. Why do people do this?? WHY?!
*snorts* “Whoever tells you that dibs is not alive and well, has never been to 24 hour fitness.” — So true!
I have issues with people in my personal bubble anyway. I don’t like being touched unless it’s during smexy time or when my kid is giving me a hug. My younger brother, 16, is a hugely huggy person. I have to constantly tell him to get off me because he wants to hug me for 20 minutes the minute I walk in the door to my parents’ house. NUH UH.
So if I’m that way with my family, imagine how I am with strangers at the gym! So far, I’ve been lucky – when I’m in the weights area, I usually have my trainer with me and he keeps the weirdos away, but I’m getting ready to start going by myself. I can’t say I’m overly excited about it, and I’m redneck enough to tell someone to get the entire hell out of my bubble. LOL
ROFLMAO *wipes tears*
You know, i wonder what were the MEN around you were thinking while you were doing all of those yoga poses?
I think i was cursed/blessed with the kind of eyes that people tend to mistake for glaring. The thing is that until a year ago i was quite oblivious to it (that’s my story and am sticking to it), so unless a person is quite brave or very naive, my space is never messed with.LOL
When I am pregnant, DO NOT reach out and touch my bulging belly. I will cut you!! When I am just fat and out of shape, DO NOT read out and touch my bulging belly and ask me how far along I am. I will fall to the floor and sob until I am nothing but a puddle.
@Kris when I’m standing in line for coffee early in the am, why are the people behind me like 2 inches away from me? Why?! Back off people!
@Mamma Kitty Bhahahah “redneck enough” I need to man up and just tell people to back off. The evil glare passive aggressive route just isn’t cutting it.
@Fiction Vixen my girlfriend said the same thing! She mentioned random strangers would walk up and rub her belly. She said it was really odd.
One time a homeless person asked if I was pregnant because I was wearing a flowie tube top. I said: “Do I look like I’m pregnant? Hello, no bulging belly just a flowie top.” Now, I just wear spandex so people can tell…
The pregnancy thing really creeps me out. I felt so bad for my bestie when she was pregnant and had to deal with the random belly-rubbers…on what planet is that okay?
Personal space violators at the gym are called creepers in the ‘Kindlelicious guide to hating people.” Creepers really piss me off. The other day we had a young girl creeper show us her plumber’s crack in her XXS shorts. My entire bootcamp class was like “Oh come on, as if the under cheek isn’t bad enough!” We were pretty loud about it. Ms. Creeper hasn’t been back since…it was glorious really.
@Kindlelicious butt cleavage not ok! Not at all!
I so understand this post hon and I can so relate has well…
Thank the lord I was blessed with eyes like Damien from the Omen – One look and most people scurry out of my path…
Sometime god given genetics can be a gooooooooood thing..
E.h>
@EH I need eyes like Damien!