Wedded Bliss My A**

K.C. — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:46:29 +0000

Today I turn the chair over *swivels chair* to K-Khan (other half of Smokinhotbooks) where we b*tch discuss, calmly ,the cluster f that is called Wedded Bliss. What you think we were going to post about authors behaving badly on Amazon…

K-Khan-I think I need a T-shirt that states, I survived planning a wedding and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. Or at least a fricken merit badge. ! As most of you might know by now I’ve been planning my wedding to Mr. T for some time. We are down to t-minus two months and counting and KC has already had to pry weapons of mass destruction from my hands.

KC-If I had to do it all over again I’d do it Mick Jagger style and just cohabitate and become a common-law wife.

Remember that time I was sobbing on the phone with Mom during my lunch hour about my then groom-zilla…

Groom-zilla “I don’t want to work with THAT flower lady. She’s shifty eyed! I don’t trust her.”

Me : :blinks:: Uh, you are behaving like a bridezilla!

Groom-zilla “This is my wedding too!”

K-Khan- Whoever said that this would be the happiest day of your life, can rot in dirty, fire-spiting hell, because this just plain sucks big hairy ones. Now, it’s not as though I am not eternally grateful at the generosity of my family in trying to make this day the best. Scout’s honor, I’m touched. That aside, here are the reasons why I might need the representation of my friend who is currently in law-school.

K-Khan-MIL (that’s mother-in-law) has been given a copy of her invitation list of people SHE would like to have at our wedding. We are literally hours from the deadline in which the invitation people need our list and suddenly, I notice 20-50 invitations are being sent to her address. Seems that it’s too much of a hassle to get those pesky addresses, so why not pay for postage for a good chunk of people and she can hand deliver them! Oh, and let’s not leave out that a good portion of the names are spelled incorrectly, Mrs. who should be Mr. are reversed and so on.

KC-Just wait until you have to do the seating chart ::shudders:: I will bring Jack Daniels and chocolate when we do yours.

K-Khan- in the real world, this would make me laugh and say, ‘Silly little rabbit, trix are for kids’. Instead, my bride-to-be side comes out. Red horns spout from my forehead, my voice lowers to a demonic grunt and I crack my neck like the butchest badass you know. Poor Mr. T, he’ll probably never be the same.

KC- I probably shouldn’t mention that one friend who project hi-jacked your bachelorette destination…

K-Khan- That’s right! That little minx. She professed how utterly dreary it would be to do ANOTHER bachelorette party in Las Vegas since that’s where we did KC’s. I got a little misty eyed that somehow I’ve become a terrible bride-host that would force Vegas of all places, for my friends to come out and celebrate. Her suggestion, have it on the East Coast, conveniently in her city. We could just sleep on her hard-wood floors. Oh and she offered up my other friend’s place without having that friend know. After we moved the b-party to a non-vegas location, she professes that she can’t possibly make it. KC was spittin’ mad at that one.

KC: THERE ARE NO STRIP CLUBS IN UTAH. I think. We missed out on that. I had big plans for you in Vegas…big plans. (takes deep yoga breaths)

K-Khan- Again, in a world where I am not a crazed person in satin and tulle I would have laughed it off as another silly conversation and shrugged my shoulders. Somehow the bridezilla b*tch comes out and she looks a lot like this (looks at above photo):

Whether it be horrible in-laws, or boyfriend in laws, horrible wedding day snafoos, or just plain weird relationship problems, We want to hear them.

Possibly Related Posts:

» bridezillas

Wedded Bliss My A**